it may look like i stalk but really i walk.
you turn around to yell so i put you through hell.
for me pains a breeze, you fall down on your knees.
crying with pain looking up in the rain. eyes go from red to white.
i let a sigh out in the night for i have just come to see that someone has been stalking me.
[her]
nureeza mohamed kalik
29 december 1984, capricorn
attached
bitingly sacastic
[loves]
him, fy1897u
punkrock
beach
8-ball pool
cafes
star-gazing
bass & drums
[sick of]
yp(s)
naggings
vegetables
work
[upcomings- jul'07]
01.07: dilla's wedding
02.07: passing out ceremony
04.07: vot
05.07: asik's b'day
06.07: bot
07.07: zai's engagement
07.07: atuk & atin nikah
08.07: atuk & atin's wedding
11.07: pre-shift briefing
12.07: vot
15.07: iska's wedding
19.07: pre-shift briefing
20.07: vot
30.07: briefing with dy commander
31 August 2007
31st august was a day where we girls (idah, lina and me) layan our abang merajuk (lan) makan besar at seoul garden. initially we (the girls as stated above) planned to cancel the outing due to our individual personal reason. however, seeing the way our abang romeo merajuk, none of us dared to speak up and say that we intended to cancel the lunch appointment.
1) he did not makan whole day saving his tummy for our big makan
2) he mentioned "korang jangan tak jadi eh.. aku tak makan satu hari ni.."
so being nice people the intended one-hour lunch makan dragged to a whole two-hour makan. kekek oi.. the makan session turned to a full gossip session to which we can't believe he turned and became one of us. lan nye kepo pun boleh tahan jugak. betul kate dia.. kasi dia tiga bulan, dia can change into one of us. maklumlah, being the thorn among us roses (ehem, its seldom that i praise myself.. anyways..) he has to adapt his style similar to ours.. hehehe.. kesian abang lan..
03 August 2007
that friday's outing was organised by aisha where initially the dinner was meant to be joined by nina, asik, wiwit, abang me and her. but since asik is going, we have to ask didin along. which means including ajid and irsyad. knowing that these three were going, shihab also joined which makes the group grew into a solid ten cousins dinner outing.
yet, mum nags saying that we were being unfair asking the boys out only and not the girls. huh? imagine if we were to ask the girls along?! iezah, zilah, yam, osyi, silah. which means an additional of $50 more. waaah.. pengsan ah!!
anyway, the dinner (ayam penyet) at lucky plaza was sedap especially the sambal. yum yum. should bring love makan there. kekeke. then we walk walk and lepak lepak, take pictures at youth park and finally make our way back. planned to have another get-together before puase. never thought that the outing was gonna be a sucessful. fyi, that was the ever first cousin outing (in a big group) that was ever organized.
a) Pressurized
everyone i know seems to either be engaged, getting engaged or preparing for their mariage.. one even is an expecting mum! i feel pressurized!
especially when july saw a lot of invitations. week after week:
1) dilla's wedding
2) zai's engagement
3) atuk & atin's wedding
4) iska's wedding
5) nazrul's engagement
6) nana & zul's wedding
b) Rejected
leave applied on aug 9th rejected! f**k. now its either i got to watch the parade from home or go watch the fireworks and head straight to work after that (no pit stops)
c) Swimming
spent time went swimming with both love and dearest. love brought me to sentosa after a looooong time while i brought dearest swimming at sembawang. hehehe. seriously, mission achieved - quality time spent!
d) Next Up till 31st Jul
1) date with izzatii
2) get together with ila & fad
3) makan with my darlings at seoul garden
Its a wonder why most humans learn their lesson the hard way. How when they really got it smacked hard in their own faces then only do they realise that they shouldn't done what was not supposed to be done but to avoid doing it all together.
Is it really that easy for your relationship after knowing both you and your partner did a very big something that really hurts each other to the core? How everything will not end up the way it is now if only you had not started everything months back. How every single day you were being reminded of your mistakes? How most things were blamed because of you?
Forgive and forget? How effective and does it really mean that much to you? Very subjective. Forgive and forget sincerely, maybe. Probably, i will say. Provided you really forget the whole matter and not bring it up anymore. End of story. To say that you forgive and forget at the moment just to put things aside? Not safe. When things tend to cocked up between the both of you, high chances that these might come up again.
Pride and ego. In any circumstances, no matter what, never wait for the other party to say sorry first before saying your sorry. For whatever reasons you're guilty of, put your ego aside and say your sorry. Its up to the other party to say his/her sorry when they're ready.
Again, its a wonder how one will only realise that these are true when it really happens to themselves.
Two wekends ago kept me busy.. First it was the chalet organized by the mum's side of the family at CDANS at Sembawang. Though there was no anything there and place was freaking secluded, we managed to get it going like having barbeques for both nights that we were there, having the pool for our own where we did the swimming "competition" among the boys and who does the greatest backflips. Came out with all the nonsensical stuffs just to keep it going. Can make it though. And as usual all the obeks and bibiks sat down talking their way through as loud as possible without caring about the time and the little people that were around. Not much pics taken though.
Last weekend was a get-together on dad's side. Everyone was called over at Pu Leko's place where we had our gram's seventy-something b'day, Pu Aida came back from umrah and finally, a Father's Day celebration after a looong time. As for me, it was a time to catch up with the family after not being around for quite some time.
Well, guess i now have quite some time for myself. Have yet to put aside time for some important peeps. Those on top list include: Nurul, Karmila and Fad.
Tmrw will be an outing with the cuzzies - Fantastic Four..Will update again soon, hopefully.
(a) 16th – 25th April: Home Team Basic Course (HTBC)
Right after mum's admittance to the hospital, i was required to report back to HTA for the HTBC. Was thinking of exchanging it with Peiyi due to several reasons - mum's condition, not started anything with the exam and also not in the mood to socialize due to kaki(s) not around. But due to it being too last minute, i decided to just go ahead with it. Heck! Whatever happens, i have my Fifi to depend on. Morever, she'll be alone if i'm not around. Kesian dier.
Life at HTBC was okay i guess. Unexpected someone i met there - Rohaya and Zulhairi!
Right after mum's admittance to the hospital, i was required to report back to HTA for the HTBC. Was thinking of exchanging it with Peiyi due to several reasons - mum's condition, not started anything with the exam and also not in the mood to socialize due to kaki(s) not around. But due to it being too last minute, i decided to just go ahead with it. Heck! Whatever happens, i have my Fifi to depend on. Morever, she'll be alone if i'm not around. Kesian dier.
Life at HTBC was okay i guess. Unexpected someone i met there - Rohaya and Zulhairi!
Rohaya was indeed my long lost secondary school bandmates. One if them whom i spend most of my secondary school time with her due to the practices held during weekends and holidays too. Didn't managed to catch up much with her cause was busy studying for the freaking law exam and the shagness that tailed us throughout our stay there. Rohaya is now with SCDF Paramedics. 
Gotta admit that it was nice to be free from the checkpoint for ten days. However, during our eight days at HTA, we only got separated from our law notes on the last day. Gotta sit for the law exam which was compulsory to pass. Heck! The paper’s kinda tough though. And again the batch was separated again. Two teams have to take the paper at checkpoint itself. How boring! But I really got to say that I make a good tag team with along. Nyiahaha. Understand understood ah. Nevertheless, it was a surprise to see the ex-boyfriend there. Hmmm. No changes found in him though. Just a simple “Hi.. How’s things? Where you posted to..? Okay see ya around..” Got kinda freaked out after seven years of not meeting him.
(b) 2nd May: Spiderman 3
iCare offered Spiderman 3 for $4.00 per tix showing at Suntec. The whole theatre was jammed packed with ICA Team A and B. Haha. Kinda weird. First time in a threatre you see familiar face to the left, right, front, back, basically 360 degrees around you. Hahaha. Movie’s okay though. Had supper with friends at Marina McDonalds before dearest came to fetch at Braddell.
(c) 10th May: A Day with Him
After so long, finally I managed to squeeze a day, 10 May 2007, to spend quality time with him. The day was spent to make up for the loss of time and whatever that happened between us. Went out at about two and made our way to JB to replenish the depleting stock. Didn’t expect that we’d be spending the whole day there at Danga Bay – karaoke-ing for the first time, just the two of us.
Gotta admit that it was nice to be free from the checkpoint for ten days. However, during our eight days at HTA, we only got separated from our law notes on the last day. Gotta sit for the law exam which was compulsory to pass. Heck! The paper’s kinda tough though. And again the batch was separated again. Two teams have to take the paper at checkpoint itself. How boring! But I really got to say that I make a good tag team with along. Nyiahaha. Understand understood ah. Nevertheless, it was a surprise to see the ex-boyfriend there. Hmmm. No changes found in him though. Just a simple “Hi.. How’s things? Where you posted to..? Okay see ya around..” Got kinda freaked out after seven years of not meeting him.(b) 2nd May: Spiderman 3
iCare offered Spiderman 3 for $4.00 per tix showing at Suntec. The whole theatre was jammed packed with ICA Team A and B. Haha. Kinda weird. First time in a threatre you see familiar face to the left, right, front, back, basically 360 degrees around you. Hahaha. Movie’s okay though. Had supper with friends at Marina McDonalds before dearest came to fetch at Braddell.
(c) 10th May: A Day with Him
After so long, finally I managed to squeeze a day, 10 May 2007, to spend quality time with him. The day was spent to make up for the loss of time and whatever that happened between us. Went out at about two and made our way to JB to replenish the depleting stock. Didn’t expect that we’d be spending the whole day there at Danga Bay – karaoke-ing for the first time, just the two of us.
Spend about S$50.00 whole day plus having lunch cum dinner at Secret Recipe. Nak makan nasi ayam goring terbantut pasal dearest auntie jay tak bukak kedai. Sigh. Dah due kali gi tapi tak dapat2. Got ourselves some fish and chips and speghetti to fill our stomach. Then did some jalan-jalan at the Festive Mall after so long before we realized that auntie jay’s shop opened which was already 2130hrs. We just dropped by, said our hi(s), tried out her new soursop juice and had my usual dosage of mango juice (ice-blended). Yum Yum. Couldn’t stay for long though cause I have to be at work by 0800hrs the next day.
(d) 14th May: Back to basics: In-Camp Training
As predicted, he easily got accepted as an APO and is now undergoing his ICT since 14th May at the old Tracom. Had been complaining that he’s stuck in class every single day morning till evening “revising” the Penal Code.
Thing is he’s one of the lucky ones that doesn’t get stuck in the camp – in a way, cause he gets to walk out on Monday and Wednesday evenings at 1900 to attend his school since his exams is in a month’s time. Lucky him. So yeah, a week has passed so that leaves him with about seven more weeks at Toa Payoh. Hehehe. Pity pity..
(e) 15th May: First Stage Cancer
Just when I thought mum’s free from her cyst, gotta know that grams’s diagnosed with first stage breast cancer. Alhamdulillah, it was detected early. She got the lump removed last Tuesday, 15th May at KKH. And now everything’s over. Just that recovery’s not that smooth – down with fever and pains. Kesian wawa (granny in boyanese) gue.
The whole maternal family was very supportive which I think is crucial for an old lady for her. That will help with the recovery part? I guess.
(f) 18th May: Long Lost Friend
After eleven years plus the fact that I just came back from my night shift, I received a surprise phonecall on my mobile at 12 noon earlier today from a long lost friend – Laila Yahya! She was indeed one of my closest buddy in primary school. She claimed that she got my number from Faezah Ma’arof. Another recovery of a buddy! I was so ecstatic that I couldn’t get back to sleep tll about 1500hrs when I suddenly dozed off while in the middle of thinking of him. Haha.
She was still as bubbly as ever. Well, hope that we could meet up soon during one of my off days to catch up things with her. Damn, its been super long. I so miss her! Hehehe.
(g) 1st June: Aunt’s Departure
Beloved Pu Aidah and Cik Amed, departed for Umrah. Went straight to their place after having a fast dinner at Al-Azhar after work to send them to the airport. Bid our farewell and went out with Nina, Afiq, Zul and Naz. Its been a while since I last joined these guys. Went makan at Syairahim at Pasir Ris and made our way home.
I think I’ve been rambling on and on. Ni pun orang left out a lot of other things to cut short. Well, I guess I really left out a lot after so long since I’ve lost touch with the cyer world. Hopefully, I’ll be consistent so that I don’t end up posting a super long entry.
mummy has not been well lately. two nights ago she brought to kk hospital at 0100hrs after being referred by a doctor at chong pang's 24 hr clinic. after scanning, doctor claimed that she has to be admitted that night for further tests and observation. reached home at 0400hrs.
went to work as usual (morning shift) the next day but at 0830, dad called to inform that doctors said that she needs to go for an operation immediately to remove the cyst as her pain had grown more intensely. urgent leave was approved after being given sarcastic remarks by our s.a.c. how should i know that such things would happen. i wouldn't have asked for one if its not urgent.
went back home first after receiving a phone call from daddy saying that doctors put the operation on hold as the cyst was inflammed. couldn't proceed to avoid complications. monday saw me looking at mum helplessly crying in pain.. she cried "mak, sakit mak.." painkillers didn't work for her. it was only at 2230hrs when we left the hospital that mum was feeling a bit better and finally the painkillers were taking effect.
called my s.a.c. personally on her mobile on tuesday morning at 0645hrs requesting for another urgent leave saying that i need to be there for mummy and that wouldn't want to have to go through what i did yesterday and trouble people being pulled from their original deployments. she did mentioned that i have to be back to work tonight and show her proof that mum was admitted. fine. whatever.
went over to the hospital at 0900 after completing the housework. its only then that kept me thinking how much i treasure mum and how i had taken advantage of her badly. sakit kan hati dia like nobody's business, how her naggings used to fell on deaf ears..
shukur alhamdulillah on tuesday mum wasn't feeling any pain. then again it's because doctor had prescribed her with the strongest painkillers after the previous painkillers couldn't subside her pain. side effects were seen almost immediately cause whenever she sleeps, she tends to jerk very often. gotta know that the painkillers he gave could interfere with her nervous system and actually slows down her brains. sigh.
doctor discharged her cause they said that they can't do anything at the moment. they need the inflammation to subside before they could carry out with the surgery to remove the cyst. that means another wait for two weeks.
mum, i'll pray the best for your health and that things will go smoothly for you and all of us. we love you dearly mum. we're very sorry for whatever wrongs and hurt we've caused you. no matter what we want to let you know that you've been a great mum and one of the best mum one could ever have. love you lots, mama.
today is night off. last night my mentor and i kept talking about food. "baguslah, u kuat makan. (not a lot of people knew about that fact) tu pasal dorang pun letak u ngan mentor yang kuat makan." but main topic was mee rebus yesterday. apparently, she wants to cook mee rebus. being the fact that i've not eaten mee rebus for months, i've decided to have mee rebus from al-ameen for breakfast today. hee hee.
i think i'm falling sick cause i slept whole day like nobody's business. i know i was supposed to meet quite a number of people today but i didn't managed to bring myself to even meet one:
(a) abang boy - spend time cause he going reservist on monday
(b) tino - to help him out with his job hunting
(c) ila & fad - our outing which was planned since last week
millions of apologies peeps. i promise i'll make up for the loss.
sayang, i know it has been difficult for us. all i can say is be patient. only time will tell. let's go with the flow and let nature takes its course. you do know my feelings towards you cause i've been telling you "i love you" every single day now. i miss you baby and frankly let me tell you that i look forward to seeing you every single day. i love you, dear..
[the others]
.aisah. ajid. asmindah. ayu. desiyantoh.
.faezah. fauzan. hafriz. hassan. hazliana.
.hidayah. huda. ismira. kak aisha. karmila. linda. maria.
.mastura. mista mayhem. moshmello. nerd. nina. ros.
.saliefah. shidzie. shikin. shirah. suzie. wiwit.
[past collections]
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
[memoirs]
click on "See it Big" to view album
more pictures can be found here
Langkawi Trip Day 1 - 12 July 2006
